So what happened, I quit my job, got fired, quit my second job, fell in and out of love - all in the matter of weeks. Well not quite the love part took quite some time to form, to be honest, just like in the movies, I didn't even know it was there until it was too late to walk away and a minor crush had already formed into a full blazing fire. but it all came together overnight and fell apart the next day - not like that, but like that. All within two weeks. WOW, now that is some major deconstruction of my life right there. Ohh and did I mention I hit into a car whilst driving on some form of prescribed medication. I should read the packaging more often, but figuring I had been on that potent stuff for years, I thought myself quite capable of driving. Little did one realise that I had always commuted by public transport when in that sedated state and completely forgot what it was like to drive on it. Well i woke up pretty quick when I slammed into the back of a golf. Thank god for my monster of a family car mum was kind enough to lend me after I crashed my wait.....counting...fourth car last year. Kind of gave up on buying a car after that, my car was not damaged. I quickly or not so quickly realised that the road, cars and I just dont mix in a healthy way. We destruct we are not healthy for one another. Whatever..I dont even know anymore.
So where to from here, I am booking a flight to New York,I have no accommodation, but am praying to my amazing GOD that he will help me pull something together at the last minute otherwise I will know what it feels like to be homeless and sleeping in Times Square. Life is just an experience isnt it; Spontaneiouty doesn't come very often and when it does, you just take it and roll with it, not knowing where you will end up.
To be honest, I am terrified of flying, so thank god for the overly generous doctor who gave me my medication that is going to calm my nerves and hopefully by the time I wake up I will be in LA or New York or somewhere on safe ground.
So now that I know what it's like to fall in love with a human and have my heart shattered into a billion pieces, someting I had held in protective gear for years, I just let go, just like that.To have my twilight moment and then have it taken from underneath me, actually not really underneath probably right before me. ahh well.
I am ready to experience the love of a city - New York. Where amazing things can happen. I am ready to encounter above and beyond. Art-Culture-Music-Broadway-Interesting Characters. I want to talk to everyone and anyone. I want to take home a piece of everything. I want my hear to reach beyond its limits, I want it to expand, I want it to breathe, eat and live. I want it most of all to love. To love creation and life. To understand creation ( I think after having my heart broken - I finally understand all those crying girls that I told - shut the heck up, get over it, its just a boy) ohh darling, is it just. A shout out sorry to all those girls. I now know and dammmmit - it hurts.
I wish I did have someone to share this experience with - why am I ALWAYS travelling ALONE - 5 years ago sitting in Cinque Terre overlooking the gorgeous water, I thought the same thought. Hopefully one day that won't be the case, but hopefully I will take many memories of the people I meet back with me.
Alloha for now. much love peeps. Peace outxx
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