LOST IN NYC

Ok so I had quite a terryfying experience today (again excuse the lack of punctuation and grammar) I feel like my brain has deteriorated since arriving in NYC. I feel like I have turned into the epitome of blonde. No really. So today, I end up in Century 21 - again buying items I don't but do need i.e. staples. Staples seems to be the excuse for swiping my credit card these days. It's 9pm and I leave Century 21 I feel like it would be good to get on ANY bus that is heading uptown, so I do - M22 comes by and I just jump on - thinking I don't want to catch the Subway with all these shopping bags so I may as well get on a bus (a CAB would have been the smarter - faster and wiser option) but no I think with a bus I get to see more, experience life like a NEWYORKER. So I just jump on this bus that reads East Side because I figure well it will take me to the East and the East is a lot closer to home than The Financial District is. Well umm not quite. The bus takes a strange route, ends up on a highway, then under and over a bridge and suddenly I find myself looking around - looking out the window and suddenly there are less and less people on these streets - the shopfronts have graffiti and I am suddenly in what looks like a residential neighbourhood and not just any residential neighbourhood, there are a lot of apartments around, a lot, and they look a little rundown, suddenly this neighbourhood is starting to remind me of places back home, places, like THE BLOCK in Redfern, place a blonde girl with huge Chloe glasses in a mini dress don't wanna be at 9pm at night. There's a map of NYC carefully placed on the side with a nice blue line going across the middle of it, I am guessing that is the bus line I am on. Ok great, I begin to trace the line with my finger to try and get some understanding of where I am, look out window, what street is this? Oh nice, we are around Chinatown- Chinatwon - shit! I've been here during the day and left quite shaken. I stood and watched two African American women physically fight over counterfeit Gucci bags whilst the children yelled for police and tourists recorded what would be future youtube videos. I.E. no one helped.

Ok great...now Not only am i in an unknown residential area in NYC - I am blonde and have no idea where I am, nor is there a person in sight to help me if anything happens, nor are there any cars and or people. SHIT!! I am screwed I think. Ohh god, dear god, don't let this NICE bus driver let me get off here, no I will tell him " Look at me sir, you can't you just can't let me get off in this neighbourhood, you can't, last stop is approaching, he announces that I WILL BE getting off shorly"

So I get up walk towards him and say - I can't get off here sir, I think I took the wrong bus, this isn't where I meant to go. I am from Australia and just got here, I am not meant to be here.
He responds with "sorry sorry love sorry"
WHATTTTT!! I really cant - aren't you going anywhere else, take me with you, just don't let me get off here' I look around at where I feel like I am going to soon be spending my last day alive, its dark and there are only apartment blocks, rundown old apartmnet blocks, the ones you see in the movies, in those movies where the movie commences with some murder and or shooting, where there aren't any tourists, and suddenly I am here, standing here, where I have seen many movies made and always thought I'd never be...ok deep breath, ok, breath girl breath you're gonnna be ok. Just fine, I DONT FEEL FINE. My heart starts racing and for someone who has been places she didn't need to be and or see, I am scared. Now for me to be scared, it must be scary. I have walked through Redfern late at night and I am pretty sweet with that, but this ain't Redfern. ok now this is something else. Big bucks are made making movies based around these neighbourhoods and what takes place NOT only after dark but in the hours of daylight(no offence to anyone living here - you know I aint like that but seriously - you know me, and me in this place at this time you know that does not work. Right? Tell me I am not hallucinating. Tell me the nice starbucks man didn't lace my coffee with something.

I can't believe I am here, here now, now it's 9.30pm at night sitting here- about to get off and part with safety with my many shopping bags and Chloe glasses - shit Chloe glasses, takes them off, places them in bag (like that's gonna save me - I stand out like Paris would stand out here in the middle of the night). The man next to me sees the concerned look on my face and starts ranting about how he WILL SAVE ME AND KEEP ME SAFE. Who is he exactly? Jesus - the man next to me - the man on the street - the man in your head - who is HE exactly? Well t-h-e-b-u-s-d-r-i-v-e-r..that's excatly how I heard it too don't worry. Now h'es ranting, he's really ranting, he sounds drunk and delussional and I can't figure out whether he is talking to me or himself. I choose to ignore him because my brain is trying to think, think real fast about how on earth I plan on getting OUT OF HERE ALIVE. I look around on the bus and I and these TWO MEN are the only people left on the bus. Now really think of me, on a bus, with two men in the wrong neighbourhood and the bus is about to stop and I have to get off. oHH DUDE, my heart is beating, I am scared, I am trying to think ...... what do I do.. What do I do....get a cab and get the f.. out of here, but there aint no cabs, because cabs proably don't drive in this area, there ain't no - nothing. Ohh I see people ok its a group of people - actually there's groups of people in each of the blocks, sitting out the front of their blocks, gathered around each other - ahh I see bottles of something and cards in their hands - and they're all men. Ohh shit. I am in trouble. DING DONG....the bells ring, the driver looks at me remorsefully and says - YOU GET OFF NOW. but nooo..wait I can't - I can't just get off - I don't know where I am, please nice man look at me, you cant leave me here I will be diced alive, ive seen movies made about this sort of thing. ommmgosh, i am about to be diced alive, this is really happening, i have done some crazy shit in my life even dated some of it but this...no really this...climbing rooftops in heels in the Upper East Side is one thing, walking the streets with a distressed poet in the middle of the night whom I have befriend only ten minutes ago is another thing, yeah scary but fun, but this...no this is NOT SANE.

He says - you get off and wait at this stop - another bus might come soon and take you out. HOney - I think these men will take me out before any bus does - you hear what I am saying. No. He insists I get off. But you - you just can't make me get off. I am in NYC - in a residential neighbourhood, one that doesn't look very friendly and being anywhere without a person without a brown paper bag in their hand in sight at 930pm is scarey, but being in a neighbourhood with what looks like the places i have and only thought i'd see in the movies. Dude. you can't. I am practically begging now, whilst trying to think of what to do and how to save myself and end up alive. This is not how I had imagined it. People warned me about wandering off alone, only last night Lynda told me that there was no way in NYC that I could wander off in the wrong neighbourhood, if you start to see the streets empty out, well then you just turn back its simple. She forgot to warn me about getting on buses. Especially on ones that you don't really know where they are headed. Ohh shit. What to do what to do. Ohh good, I see a highway ahead, I will just walk towards it and hopefully a cab or someone, something safe will pick me up. Oh gosh, i could literally be murdered right now and no one would hear or see a thing.

Bus driver - changes to sign "OUT OF SERVICE" You get off. NOW!! Ohhhhhhhhhhh gooooshhh! This is not happening, this is really not happening. Ok walk towards the highway, yep the highway, think people, think busyness and pray to god the right not wrong person sees you. Oh PRAYING like I haven't prayed since my stalker turned up at work unexpectantly threatening to take me away with him. Praying so hard right now. JESUS PLEASE!!! JESUS I don't see any way of getting out of here alive. PLEASE SAVE ME!

I start walking towards the highway, heart palapatations, thinking of what belongings I have with me, practically everything including my camera and all my memories - ohh gosh. A man that was on the bus with me - not the rambler - the only other man on the bus - approaches me as he can probably hear and see that I know I am in the wrong place and personally I think he does too. He's like. Where do you need to go? I don't know sir, I don't know. I thought this was going East, where am I? He is really lovely. I see a cab. Oh Jesus - you heard again and have bailed me out again...He looks at me and says "Get that cab, get that cab y'all and get on home- yo shouldn't be out here at night yo hear what i'm saying now tell that cab to take you to 42East Street south bound, that should get you out of here and safe enough".

Ok no exaggeration, if he a local is telling me to get out, clearly I am not where I am suppost to be. Jump in cab and give him the instructions the nice man gave me. He locks the doors. OHHHHGOOOOD! What is going to happen to me. Is this european sounding taxi driver going to drive me into the middle of nowhere? No one will know, rummaging through bag, phone ready to call 911, but what will I tell them, I don't evne know where I am. I see that Bridge again, I think it's the Brooklyn Bridge but then again it could be the Williamsberg or the Washington Bridge - Ohh god, I am even more scared now, pretend to call your friend, I pick up the phone and say I am in a cab headed east now. Ok dude, I know where I am - I am not a tourist - i am a local so don't try taking the wrong turn, for all I know he could already be (puts on american accent - should have been an actress - I do this I know where I am going accent to well). Suddenly he notes something down, ok he's not going to kill me if he's recording the trip. I start to relax. I look out the window and feel like I am in an unknown industrial area. HOW THE HECK DID I END UP HERE. Not a person in sight. Now if you know NYC you know its hard to end up out of town without a person in sight, and if you do. You are in trouble.

Ok change of plans I tell him and give him my real address - Excuse me sir, my frined just texted me, We need to go to XXX ST. Great. Good he says. and laughs. Laughs...ohh god. I don't watch scary movies, but this is starting to feel a lot like what a script for one would read - I suddenly notice he looks a little frightening or am I just unsettled now and everything is frightening to me. I am frightened. My glasses, where did I put my glasses.

Ok we are starting to see some buildings, I start looking up at the street signs as I am frantically rammaging for my glasses - why suddenly they are of importance to me is beyond any thoughts right now. I find my glasses - phew I didn't drop them in the neighbourhood. Ok Ok I suddenly see my street - I am home safe and sound and dont ever want to leave my house again. Tourists and the amount of poeple in this city have annoyed me since the minute I got here, now, well now I have never been happier to see so many people. No really. Ahh I am safe, but shocked, but slightly disturbed and IF THERE was ever a time I could happily slap myself it would be now.