Now i sit here alone and your not here, those words you spoke,the laughs you gave; the emotional space dedicated to you. I went out often in the hope that I would see you and that something might ignite. That somehow you would finally see what I see, that you could finally feel as drawn to me as I did you. I was fooling myself, i was convincing myself, sitting here hoping that you would walk through the door and tell me you were madly in love with me, that you couldnt live without me, that i was like no one you had ever met before.
I CAN write pages and pages about this "thing" that took, place .. or did it. i wont deny what i felt and what you made me feel. Even if it wasnt reciprocated. There was certinaly something special about you and you certainly devoted a huge amount of time to me. You listened to my stories, all of them, you even laughed and made me feel somewhat special, unique even. you laughed at me and me at you. We joked and made fun of each other. We laughed and I cant remeber the last time I carelessly laughed like that. Finally i was sleeping peacefully at night. I wasnt waking up nor worrying about anything. Life had begun, Love has taken place, this is what the buzz was about, this is what people were taking about and oh how physically real it felt.
Life seemed pretty sweet for the first time in a long time. I didnt mind waking up ..i couldn't wait to drink my coffee and continue on my eurphoric high. why did you come along and what purpose did you have? now here i am sitting in this mess, still holding on, still hoping, although that hope gets smaller and smaller each and everyday. I know your and me will never be, and that is o.k. i guess i just want to know..did you feel anything? was it mutual or was it just me? why did you unlock what no one else could, and will i feel like this about another man ever? My heart aches when i hear your name, i almost felt like your name was imprinted on it. Oh how it wouldve made for the perfect fairytale, but perhaps in anther time, another place, another scene. Not thisone, not now.
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