HIGHS

This feeling is nothing like I had imagined it to be. I always imagined it to be great, but this, this, is ....on another level...

Why I thought euphoric highs were only caused by pink little pills or copious amounts of alcohol why even other chemicals....... I did not think it possible to feel something within your heart when speaking or communicating, engaging with another human being on an emotional level.

For I thought my heart was unbreakable, I always thought i was incapable of falling in love, i dreamt about it, watched movies made about, seen couples take their vows, heck even seen men cause physical violence over it, yet I had not imagined why anyone would want to fight over love, for weren't there many fish out in the sea? what was it about this thing called "love" that caused us to act a way, we never normally would, do to and say things we never normally would, what is defined as normal anyway? mediocre everyday feelings...highs and lows, stability......

It wasn't until i had fallen and that my every bone/emotion in my body felt like it had overdosed on some sort of happy pill that i realised I had fallen in love. so this is what love felt like, when you don't want to sleep, because being awake is so amazing, when you hear a song and it sends a huge shiver down your spine, along with a flutter in your heart, when you light up more than any amount of alcohol can light you up..wow the power of love huh..now I know why songs are made about it, its quite a strong emotion and as I've of late discovered no amount of sedatives can sedate. No amount of coffee or alchohol can numb. If anything it only makes it STRONGER. Wow. the power of this little thing called LOVE, as i've discoveed, not so little after all.

I admit, admitting to myself after years of hearing about it, i had finally fallen, right before my very eyes, i had fallen. How I couldn't believe it that even someone like me could fall. Suddenly i cared for nothing else, but a whisper, a word, a smile a call from this particular person. For no human being i had encountered could ever pick me up, with just a few words. It was like with every word you were injecting amphetamines into my body.