I met boy less than a year ago. And it only took me one whole year to fall in love with him, i don't exactly know at what point I feel in love with him, but I did. I realised i was in love with him after a casual drink after work, Icame home and wasunable to sleep, heart beating, euphoric highs, I couldn't understand what was happening to my body. I thought I was ill. It was then that I realised this physical pull was love. He was handsome, adventurous, intelligent, so much fun to be around and could throw sarcastic remarks back as quickly as I could dish them. I wanted to spend all of my time with him. Just thinking about him made my face burst into a smile. He was exciting, and I couldn’t get enough.

But after a year it ended. He said he was in love with me, but couldn't be, he spoke of how he didnt want to leave and walk away but how life had other things going on for him and this us, this now would just be too much. That it would be easier to just walk away, to walk away from the emotion that were engulfing him. The kiss was perfect and we just fitted. I thought about all the things we had done together and all the future plans that would never be.

But as quickly as I had fallen for him, I had bounced back. Three weeks of love meant our relationship was only a glitch in time. But it fit perfectly. I wish to be someone that goes whole-heartedly for what I want, disregarding the consequences. And in this situation, this is exactly what I had done. I had many warnings from friends, telling me I was setting myself up to get hurt. Which I did. But, without that risk, I never would have been able to feel that fire. Three weeks of pure happiness was worth the sadness.

Being a “prisoner of the moment” means that I lead with my wants, and not my rationalities. I go based off instinct, not thinking too far into the future. With boy, I dove in completely and tried to suppress all other thought, the scream telling me to protect myself and back out. I was hurt in the end, but life is too short to care. I can only hope I find this passion again, and that it doesn’t burn out quite so quickly.

-untilikickthebucket