This was something I had waited, prayed and imagined my whole life and finally here you were standing here right before my very eyes. This was it, it was really happening I had finally fallen in love.

The feeling was so strong that I couldn't be around it anymore. It consumed my every thought and engulfed my entire body. It was good and bad at the same time. The wanting, the desire the longing, but yet the inability to have. Instead of just living with what it was, I ran, I ran so fast and pulled everything around me apart. Now here I stand, life out of hand, shattered, regreting, missing, wanting, needing you and everything that was. I was finally finding out who I was and becoming comfortable in me. Days were a routine, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, engaging all my senses and then there was you. and everything you brought.

You challenged my knowledge, my humour and kept me on my toes. My wit finally had a place it could call home. Finally a place it could be as free as it wanted to be and every day was a full and enlightening day - something I had not previously known. Finally I seen that life can be good and fun at the same time, but I couldn't deal with it, it all become too much, knowing, needing wanting, unable to have...

You told me what I did and didnt want to hear. How dare you. You spoke truth and lies - so honest - so real yet so surreal.