Escape

I want to escape with the stranger I met on the street last week. I want to enter their world for a whole day, a whole night, even a whole week.
I want to sit behind my lense and capture them in their environment.
I want to know what it is like to live in someone else's universe for a day.

I want to sit on their rooftops, talking about life, our dreams our fears, our past and most importantly, the here and now, this very moment.
I want to lay on the mountaintops and be enveloped by the night, surrounded by nothing more than the stars and the light of the moon.Wine stained lips, messy hair wrapped in a band of flowers, secrets leaving my lips. I want to walk along the sand at the break of dawn, welcoming the day. I want to whisper sweet lullaby's to the Lord in the heavens above.
I want to pray for a better tomorrow.
I want to want to love today.

I want to take pretty pictures of love, of sun and clouds and flowers and empty fields. I want to runaway with you. Away from this, from here, from the past, from the present, from everything I have ever known. From every secret I have ever had to hide. I want to be free again.

Its bruised, its battered, its been afflicted'
its painful, it hurts, its distorted your view
life isn't what you expected,
people change, things turn'but beneath it all I see beauty, love and grace
battered but still living.

sweet

poem

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

My favorite poem.
Writer: Unknown

Let the curtain fall

Let the curtain fall
I'll take my bow, Ill leave the stage
I'll say my role has been played
I've sung my song
played my part
I was the fool
You broke my heart
So let the curtain fall
The play is done,
we said our lines to the end
no romeo - no juliet
So let's forget and let the curtain fallllll
The final act
The final scene
turn off the lights
take off your pain, remove your tears,
they're only fake and let the curtain fall
The play is done;
the love has gone
we've said our lines to the end
No Romeo no Juliet
So....let's forget and let the curtain falllll

Music
Takes me away and always has
The addiction is so strong
I can't keep away
To contain the sound to my bedroom and home
I want to do this, but not alone
To be in the places I shouldn't;
with people I shouldn't
but the music its so powerful
I just want to listen and dance and play
The bars, the pubs and the clubs they play all my troubles away
Being in a room where you cannot hear the voices in your head over the loud music
now thats where I wanna be
In a bar, club and pub but I know Iknow that's not good for my soul
I know I can't shut out reality and people and just lurk in the clubs alone with themusic although that's really wher I wanna be
It lets me in, plays sweet melodies, tells me how I am feelings and allows me to be free
I want to be free, to dance sing just me the music being played, that's all I want, no one else will do, for I have been to that place and you cannot be what the music can be to me. I wanna jump deep into your veins and explor them, the music the sounds, the beats,
How wonderful it would be to be free in that.

You and No longer I

You are You; and I am Me
Great together we can be
Although for us, I know we are not meant to be
Your love for the things of this world is greater than that of mine
MY LOVE for love; is greater than that of yours
I am real and very raw, living for that of love and joy & creativity
You are you living for that of the world,
the money, the fame, and your pride for the love of this very game
Worlds so far apart,that no even a love so strong,
can make this wrong so right
So I open my hand and with it my heart, as I let you go, and with you, that world
so false, so untrue
I now fly free, free as a butterfly fresh out of a coccoon,
free to be me, the one I have desired to be, free from the false
confines of this world and the wishes of my at the time blind mind
and you...well you will lay, for another day, striving trying to please the world;
living so far away, so far from the person you were created to be.